names and usernames and laundry!
by June Lunare
Summary: random stuff with Inuyasha characters
1. Chapter 1

Kagome: Inuyasha! Oh, where are you? 

Inuyasha: Oh, drat, not her again!

Kagome: Yoo-hoo.

Inuyasha: (sneaks even deeper into the bushes)

Kagome: Sit!

Bushes fall into deep pit.

Kagome: Ha! I knew you were there!

Inuyasha: thinking: "If you knew, you didn't have to crush me, you goddamn bitch!"

Kagome: (walks over to the pit)

Inuyasha: thinking: "great, what now?"

Kagome: Time to wash you clothes.

Inuyasha: I don't need them washed! (lifts bushes off his head)

Kagome: But you smell like dog pee!

Inuyasha: Now, why would I smell like dog pee!

Kagome: (breathes in deeply) CUZ YOU PISS LIKE A DOG! GOD, DONT YOU KNOW ANY MANNERS! Sit!

Inuyasha: shud wup "shut up"

Dust in the air

Kagome: cough cough. Shit, shouldn't have said that. Now I have to sniff doggy dust and doggy piss.

Miroku: My, my, what is Lady Kagome doing here all alone? (sneers)

Kagome: Miroku! Hey, what's up!

Miroku: ...

Kagome: ...

Miroku: ...

Kagome: ... kyaaaaaaaa! Pervert! (Slaps Miroku's hand and pokes her two fingers in his eyes)

Sango: (appears from nowhere and beats Inuyasha, who is trying to get up from the hole, into a bloody pulp)

Kagome: Sango! That's Inuyasha!

Sango: Yeah, I know his name.

Kagome: Miroku touched me!

Sango: Miroku? Who's Miroku?

Kagome: The guy with the bloody eyeballs.

Sango: Oh, him! Yeah, that's the pervert monk. (has trouble remembering names of guys she likes)

Inuyasha: Why did you beat Inuyasha up, then?

Kagome: Hey! Author! May name is not Inuyasha!

Me: Uh, yeah, sorry...

Kagome: Sheesh, you're just as bad as Sango herself!

Sango and me: boo-hoo

Kagome: So, (glares at Sango) your explanation?

Sango: Ho HO HO! I did it because...(walks over to Miroku) WE are in love (Heart marks float everywhere)

Kagome: So, Santa (referring to the way Sango laughed), you used Inuyasha as a replacement?

Sango: Pretty much so.

Kagome: All for the name of love? You bitch!

Sango: Yeah, but since Miroku lossed his eyeballs, I'm changing my mind.

Kagome: Girls tsk, tsk, tsk.

Me: You're a girl, too.

Kagome: Shut up! (sticks middle finger up at me) One of these days I'm going to get a sex-change! You better rejoice. I'm changing my name to Kagomo.

Inuyasha: (Gasps and holds his breathe to keep himself from laughing. He's a wise guy)

Sango: What a lame name.

Kagome: It's awesome, isn't it? (she's not listening)

Miroku: (turns to Sango) I think Sango is a beautiful name.

Sango: It's a name of a coral.

Miroku: Even so, it's still beautiful.

Sango: If you like corals so much, go fuck one, pervert! (throws Miroku over the near-by cliff and into the ocean.)

Inuyasha: Fucking corals? That's gotta hurt!

Kagome: (glares at Inuyasha)

Inuyasha: thinking: "Why is she in such a bad mood?"

Sango: I thought you were going to wash Inuyasha's clothing, Kagome.

Kagome: I'm not in the mood right now. Sango, you take care of it. (starts leaving)

Sanga: Roger that!

Sanga: (punches me in the face) Don't change my name! I ain't Kagome # 2

Inuyasha: Rolling with laughter.

Sango: There, Inuyasha! All done!

Inuyasha: Huh? (Looks down at himself) Gaaaaaaa! I'm naked!

Kagome turns around: (squeals and takes pictures of him with her cell-phone)

Sango: (sniffs Inuyasha's clothing) Hey, Kagome! This doesn't smell bad at all!

Kagome: Well, you don't know cause you're used to the smell of stinking youkais anyway.

Sango: OO"""

Kagome: I'm taking this home. I need to use detergent for this.

Inuyasha: Wait! I need something to wear!

Kagome: Borrow it from Miroku!

Inuyasha: He's down there fucking corals!

Kagome: Swim for him.

Inuyasha: (growls and jumps into the sea)

Sango: Bye!

Kagome: See you later, Sango!

Sango: Yeah, sure.

ONE DAY LATER...

Miroku: Hahahahaha, those corals were more cooperative than Sango.

Sango: Shut up.

Me: Sheesh, how did he do it? He must be a true master of the erotic arts.

Sango: Stop getting ideas from him, author.

Me: My name isn't "author."

Sango: Your username sucks.

Me: ...

Squid-o (Sango): So, Inuyasha, how was your day?

Inuyasha: (glares at Squid-o) Where are my clothes and where is Kagome!

Squid-o: I talked to her this morning and asked her what she did with your clothes.

Inuyasha: And?

Squid-o: I don't know, she was talking about something called e-bay.

Inuyasha: What's that?

Brainless Squid-o: I have no idea. She left right after I asked her.

Miroku: What's with your username, Squid-o?

Sango: Wait... who's Squid-o (looks up)?

Me: (already running down the road)

Sango: Author...

Me: eep! She's fast!

Sango: Starts clobbering me with her hiraikotsu.

Me: Ow! Wait...ow!

Sango: You're going to pay for that. Especially that last one!

Miroku and Inuyasha: (shaking heads) Boys. Tsk, tsk, tsk. One of these days, I promise, I'm going to get a sex change.

Miroku: Your name already sounds girlish, so you don't have to worry.

Inuyasha: glares at Miroku.

Miroku: And I'll change mine to Miro-chan.

Inuyasha: (feels shivers down his spine).

Me: XX

Sango: Bwahahahahaha! Another victory!

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

Okay…I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter I wrote, but, anyway, here's another one :)

Inuyasha: The bitch! I'm not going to forgive her.

Miroku: Who are you talking about? Is it Lady Kagome?

Inuyasha: glares at Miroku

Miroku: (waves hands in the air) Fine, fine! I get it, I get it. Just stop looking at me like that! I'm sorry.

Sango: Look guys, she's back!

Inuyasha and Miroku: (looks at Kagome, who is dragging behind her a HUGE bag)

Miroku: What is that, Lady Kagome?

Kagome: Money! Boy, those fangirls must really like Inuyasha.

Miroku: (snatches bag from Kagome and looks inside) you can't use these here. This is money from your country, right?

Kagome: Darn! I forgot. (shakes her head) I've gotta study harder in my history class. Thanks, Miroku, for telling me.

Miroku: No problem. (Grins brightly)

Inuyasha: (stands on all fours and growls) where are my clothes?

Kagome: (points to the bag)

Inuyasha: (rips open the bag and dumps all the money out)

Kagome: Hey! That's my money!

Inuyasha: Where are my clothes?

Kagome: You're borrowing Miroku's extra clothing, so be satisfied with that!

Inuyasha: But, where are my clothes!?

Kagome: I sold them for that money.

Inuyasha: (laughs wickedly) Yo! Sango, did you hear that? Kagome, you think you can control me all you want, eh?

Miroku: (yawns in boredom)

Inuyasha: But, guess what, Kagome-bitch! Too bad you couldn't stop me, 'cause when you were gone, I got Kikyo to reverse this thingy (points to beads around his neck)

Kagome: You can't lie to me! You're still my slave. (Stands proudly) Sit!

Inuyasha: (watches as Kagome flattens out on the ground, dead)

Sango: (claps her hands, laughing) Bravo!

Inuyasha: (sneers) Kikyo's probably laughing her dead ass off right now.

Miroku: (eyes wide in shock) Inuyasha! How dare you treat a fine young Lady Kagome in such a way! I loved her!

Sango: (glares at Miroku)

Inuyasha: So, what are you gonna do? Use your wind tunnel?

Miroku: A duty for a woman is a duty I shall keep. (Sango scowls at him) (Miroku unwraps his rosary and unleashes his deadly weapon)

Inuyasha and Sango: (Listens to a breeze whistling through the trees and birds chirping)

Miroku: Wait! Huh? (Looks at his hand and gasps when he finds out there is no hole) Where's my "hole"?

Inuyasha: Kikyo just killed Naraku yesterday.

Sango: (looks up from petting Kirara on her back. Kirara was enjoying it greatly, purring and shivering) How in the world did she do that?

Inuyasha: Well, to make a long story short, she gave him the entire Shikon Jewel.

Miroku and Sango: (nod their heads and listen intently)

Inuyasha: And then she found out what Naraku really wanted it for.

Miroku and Sango: (move closer to Inuyasha)

Inuyasha: He wanted to use it as a Viagra pill or something.

Sango: (shuffles back away from Inuyasha)

Miroku: (Moves even closer)

Inuyasha: He ate it.

Miroku, Sango, and Kirara: (Frown and drop their heads)

Inuyasha: So, she stripped naked and he was like, "Oh, yeah! Babe! You naughty, naughty girl. You've just read my mind."

Miroku: (looks dreamy)

Sango: (takes out a notepad and starts scribbling down) Kikyo…(scribble) …Naraku… (scribble scribble)…Inuyasha… (scribble scribble scribble)…poor boy.

Inuyasha: So he jerked off while watching her…

Sango: (erases ferociously and scribbles once again) Kikyo… (scribble) …porn…(scribble scribble) … Naraku… (scribble scribble scribble) … shameful.

Miroku: (starts drooling)

Inuyasha: …and when he came, he basically shot out all of his life force due to the height of excitement, shriveled up and died.

Sango: (looks up) Wow, she's THE most courageous woman I've ever heard of. (puts her notebook away) She not only risked her life, but also the love from her dear Inuyasha. I'm amazed she could actually tell you what happened.

Inuyasha: Actually, I was watching the whole thing. She wanted me to.

Sango: Oh. (flips out her notebook again and scribbles for another minute or two)

Miroku: (knocked out cold with blood squirting out of his nose and with a foaming mouth)

Inuyasha: (points to Miroku) did you do that, Sango?

Sango: No, you did. (scribbles down even more)

Inuyasha: (scratches his head in confusion)

Me: Ha! Look, Sango, I changed my user name! It's now June Lunare. Hahahaha! Too bad to those who didn't read the first chapter before I changed my username. They don't know what it originally was.

Sango: I can spell it out for them, author.

Me: No! Don't!

Kikyo: Author…you are too arrogant. That is why I cast a curse on you so you wouldn't get any reviews. Besides, your writing sucks.

Me: Want me to make you die again?

Kikyo: (looks at audience) Everybody! Please review!

Me: Ummmm… (pokes at Kagome's dead body) could somebody clean this up?

Kikyo: What? She's dead? Ha! Now I get my whole soul back!

Miroku: (suddenly springs up) Best not to touch her, author, her body is covered with flies.

Me: (looks at the dead corpse (usually, I don't need to use 'dead' along with corpse, but since there is a (ahem) corpse right here that would be otherwise, I need to clarify it))

Kikyo: You say something?

Me. Nope. Hehehe. Hey! Why is her body covered with flies? She's only been dead for a couple of hours.

Sango: Actually, one hour to be exact.

Miroku: She's been constipated for a week now.

Sango, me, and Kikyo: How do you know that?

Miroku: blushes.

Me: Just let her rot.

Kikyo: Oh, I'd like that. (rubs her hands together)

Me: Well, anyway, thanks everyone for reading. I hope you have a wonderful day!

Sango: Yay! Kohaku's coming home! (jumps up and down)

Kikyo: Did she just forget what Naruku used as Viagra?

Me: Let her be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Grrrrrrrr... no reviews... damn that Kikyo. I'm gonna kill her. But how do I? Curse Rumiko Takahashi. She made Kikyo immortal. Maybe I'll bring her into the story, too. Just for fun...maybe I will. (starts whistling and looking around, away from the audience, who are shaking their fists and booing, while I am hiding a bazooka behind my fat ass) **_**Watch out! You ungrateful readers. Drop those tomatoes! Wait! What are you doing? No! ah...ow...ARGGGHHHH! My eyes, my beautiful vomit-green hair, my straight crooked nose! **_

**_Click-a-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! Take that! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!_**


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